When we start a relationship, we bring our own understanding of what a relationship should be like and our partners do the same.
There are certain beliefs or concepts about relationships that we follow as is without questioning their validity or correctness.
They are usually either beliefs we adopted from the relationship model we grew up witnessing in our parents or beliefs we adopted from our past relationship experiences.
Tellingly, maybe there are things you thought not to be ok in a relationship while in fact, they are totally normal.
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Here are things we need to normalize in a relationship.
1. Respectful arguments & tough conversations
We avoid conflicts and arguments as much as we can in relationships. We sweep issues under the carpet thinking that deceiving ourselves into the thought that pretending the problem didn’t exist is better than getting into a fight. That’s wrong. You can still have a tough confrontational conversation without ugly disrespectful fights. The right way to do it is to wait until the heat of the problem has calmed down. Choosing the right timing to have a certain conversation and the way you put your words and thoughts together make a lot of difference. In fact, such arguments and conversations will strengthen the bond between you more and increase the level of mutual understanding.
2. Giving one another some personal space
Thinking that because you are a couple then you have to do everything together is not right. As a couple, each one of you needs some personal space and time alone and if any of you asks for it, the other side shouldn’t take it the wrong way. Seeking some time alone doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t want to be around you, it is just healthier that each of you knows how to spend time doing things separately from time to time. Self-identity is still important in relationships and having the chance to do things you love on your own is actually good for both sides.
3. Having different interests and hobbies
You don’t have to share all the interests and hobbies together, this is totally normal. Don’t force your partner to do the things you love with you or force them to try something they are not interested in just so you do them together. Share your common interests together and do the others separately.
4. Releasing your inner child together
Get silly together, have fun, and enjoy your time just like a little kid would. Relationships shouldn’t always be so serious. Make room for laughter and jokes, even consider fun and nice pranks. Bringing this energy into your relationship will revive it and release any tension between you.
5. Not interfering in one another’s financial decisions
You can discuss financials together of course and you can consult one another on some decisions too. However, you are not entitled to tell your partner when, where, or how to spend their money and vice versa. Arrange household financial responsibilities together, yes, but if your partner wants to buy something that you for instance are not convinced with, then it shouldn’t be your call. Their money, their spending decisions.
